02.02.00: Music review: Fluid magazine

Do you ever get sick of the bland diet of boy bands and sentimental girlies that ooze from the charts and sound systems of gay venues? You're not alone. It was that banality and lack of music with any gay content that inspired a man known only as Zerocrop to produce his own single and multi-media experience, the subversive Ain't No W*nker. You can't really imagine Westlife doing a cover version of it, can you?

Zerocrop's sound is a fusion of pop, dance and electronica. He mixes his won voice with those of guys on chatlines who were up for ruff fun. "I'm fascinated by how people express themselves when they're looking for sex in this way. Whether they're speaking or typing they say such great things and I wanted to shine a light on that" the enigmatic Zerocop explains via email, which seems appropriate considering his multi-media approach. The CD single is actually a CD extra, with a full-length multi-media peepshow. Users can eavesdrop on the genuine private conversations that 40 different guys had with Zerocrop, read the text that each guy typed and check out the phots they sent, albeit reproduced as minimalist modern graphics.

"I think it's a bit more interesting than a pop video with me playing the guitar in the shower and all that crap." So what's the song about anyway? "The song Ain't No W*nker is about a kidnap scene with a top who, when he's got you tied-up and gagged-up, decides to keep you prisoner forever. Mmmm nice." You said it. "Ain't No W*nker really means "I'm for real, I'm not a time-waster" and in a rough sex sense it means "you can trust me, I'm safe and sane", and on a general level it means "I'm not another boring tosser".

Thus far Ain't No W*nker has only been available by mail-order from the Zerocrop website but now gay fetish shops Recoil.557 and Expectations have agreed to stock it. Zerocrop also hopes one day to bring it to the dancefloor. "People keep asking me if thre's going to be a club version of the tracks so maybe someone out there will want to approach me about a remix and I can put some vinyl out too."

Its not often that anyone makes any kind of statement at all in the music business, much less a sexually-chaged one. It's also not just a track for those into rough cybersex: "I think it's just a call to arms for anyone who likes any kind of sex whatsoever to celebrate that and to disregard moralising w*nkers." Fluid Magazine / February 2000.